Toaster Strudel Hate – A Rant

James here. I am a pretty nice guy. Most people who know me would agree. They would say, “Yeah, he’s a nice guy. So level headed and even tempered. A real winner.” People are so nice. What they don’t know is that sometimes, out of nowhere, I fill with rage in an instant and I need to let loose. This is a story of just such an event. It all started, about an hour ago, in my living room…… (wavy lines and sound effects)

So, I’m watching TV with the wife. Everything is going just fine, I had a pretty good day at work and I have very little to complain about. The commercials start and I’m still doing well. Car ad, kitchen cleaner, weed killer, and I’m copasetic. Then comes the Toaster Strudel commercial. I watch it silently, in awe. When it’s over, I look over at my wife and say “You know what??” She looks at me politely. “Fuck Toaster Strudel!!”

Now, understand, this outburst was not directed at my lovely wife Sarah in any way. She just happened to be the only one present at my declaration to the world. And why the vulgarity you might ask? My reply would

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be that my vulgarity is nothing compared to Toaster Strudel’s cold and relentless attacks on the Pop Tart. I’m not really sure if there is a good comparison to how TS has dragged its breakfast pastry companion through the mud. We are talking about more than a decade of Pop Tart hate spreading.

Remember the commercial where the kid hid his Pop Tarts in his locker out of embarrassment. Its sad really, when you think about it. What kind of emotional turmoil are you going through that you would hide your breakfast. What about the one where the two

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kids are comparing the breakfast pastries their parents had purchased for them. The kid with the strudel says something like, “I know my parents love me because they bought me this sexy pastry”. Then Pop Tart kid says, “I hate my life. I like eating Pop Tarts and dirt”.

All I’m saying is that Toaster Strudel needs to lay off the Pop Tart bashing. Base their advertising on the good qualities of their own product.

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Maybe then, they won’t look like a bunch of assholes. And maybe they’ll sell a few more Strudels. Not to me, of course. I hate them.

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23 Responses to “ Toaster Strudel Hate – A Rant ”

  1. The Toaster Strudel vs. Pop Tart debate is a legendary argument for sure. It ranks right up there with cake vs. pie, or Mario vs. Luigi.

    I must say that I despise Toaster Strudel for their completely inane advertising directed solely against Pop Tarts (advertising which, I was not reminded of until I read James’ post.

    How about instead of going after Kellog’s, Pillsbury just goes after “toaster pastries” in general? Walmart, Kroger, Tom Thumb, Target – they’re all culprits of making Pop Tart knock-offs. I sure don’t see Kellog’s running a negative ad campaign against Pillsbury. Nuh uh. Know why? Because Pop Tarts are wonderful. That shit sells itself.

    I must confess though that in the dilemma of choosing between Toaster Strudels and Pop Tarts, I fall somewhere in between.

    With Toaster Strudels, you’re getting an arguably more “fancy” breakfast food, what with its flaky crust, “real”(?) fruit filling, and the added bonus of an icing packet that lets you control how much gets on your Strudel. However, how many times have you undercooked a TS? I bet more often than you’d like. Nothing ruins a perfectly good morning like a piping hot, flaky crust with a still semi-frozen filling inside.

    When you choose Pop Tarts, you know what you’re getting – assuming you don’t stray too far off the beaten path (I know there’s crazy ass flavors out there). They start at room temperature, so you know you have a better chance of even-heating. But, why does Kellog’s even bother selling plain Pop Tarts, with no icing? I know of only one person who buys, and eats, those things (his initials are CSH); I just don’t get it.

    I kind of feel like Toaster Strudel is the Republican party, cranking up the typical attack machine against the hoity-toity left-leaning, Democrat Pop Tarts.

    If that’s the case, I’ll take a box of Brown Sugar and Cinnamon Pop Tarts please.

  2. You know, I don’t believe I have ever in my life consumed any form of Pop Tart, Toaster Strudel, or anything of the kind. I’m not really a fan of the “fruit” in flaky bread thing. I don’t even like turnovers!

    I do agree however that negative advertising just drives me bonkers! I especially hate times like this. Its an election year, and every time I watch TV, I see either a John McCain, or Barak Obama advertisement, not talking about what they have done in the past, or plan to do in the future. Instead they talk about how terrible the other is. /yawn

    We need more advertising like Sonic’s.

    simply brilliant. In fact, I might need to make a post solely about these sonic ads :-p

  3. I completely agree with Ryan. Sonic’s advertising has actually made me chuckle out loud.

    A post on Sonic and the greatness of their advertising would be well worth it.

  4. You know what? I just saw a new Toaster Strudel versus Pop Tart commercial on TV last night, and ever since then, including right now, I am craving desperately a Pop Tart. My God, how can you resist the blueberry or cherry frosted with sprinkles? Yeah, I’ve had strudels. Ech, ho hum. Haha, Dough Boy is advertising for the competition, I’m going to buy some Pop Tarts on the way home from work now. Thanks, Pillsbury!

  5. pay attention to the seat belts in the sonic commercials. if you haven’t noticed, it’ll make you laugh.

  6. Anybody else notice the commercial with the little girls making orgasm faces over Toaster Strudel.

    I have seen that face, it is an orgasm face and its not right to sell such a face to a child’s breakfast item, especially in a commercial WITH CHILDREN!

    Toaster Strudel is mundane at best. Its no where near as good as a Hair Shampooing or finding the right apartment.

    When will advertisers learn.

  7. Toaster Strudels have filling made of uranium. Pop-Tarts are awesome!

  8. poptarts 200 calories a piece
    toaster strudel approx 135 calories a piece and has a filling.

    …. studel ftw

  9. Fuck u d u son of a bitch strudels suck ass i will hunt u down and rip ur spine out ur back and choke u ta death wit it

  10. Does anybody know what the little boy says on the Pillsbury Toaster Strudel commercial? I’ve tried so hard to figure it out but can’t. He starts with “Yea, but” and I lose it from there.

  11. That kid says…”yeah, but now I have nothing to eat”. Finally recorded the damn commercial and slowed it down. It annoyed me to no end.

  12. Thank you DL!! This has been aggravating me for weeks. It’s actually the only reason I came onto this thread.

  13. Thanks so much for clarying what that little boy says!!!!! It has been driving me crazy as well.I tried over and over to mute the TV so I could read the closed captioning but was never quick enough. I cannot believe the producers of this commercial did not notice how unclear the speech was.Thanks again.( that is also the only reason I came to this thread)

  14. Thanks for that. I searched this because I could not figure out what the little boy said and it was driving me nuts. I have never had a pop tart OR a toaster strudel and never will but I can’t stand the commercial because of the mealy-mouthed kid so am inclined to boycott the brand.

  15. Thank you very much! I thought it was just me who couldn’t figure out what the boy was saying. It was driving me bonkers and the net was my last hope. I hate the stupid commercial!!!

  16. I am SO glad I found this thread!!! I despise that commercial and it makes me crazy every time I see it.

  17. Thanks. I too wondered what the boy said in the commercial.

  18. Thanks. I have been trying to figure out what the boy was saying. Thought something was wrong with my hearing.

  19. OMG!! Thank goodness!! This commercial has driven me NUTS for months b/c I could not figure out what that kid was saying!! Thank you so much for clearing this up for me. Good grief!

  20. YES!! Thank you…also the only reason I came into the site. I have also tried to understand him.

  21. I have been trying for months to find out what this kid is saying. I can’t believe you didn’t fix this. Is this one of your kids.

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